On the Feast of the Holy Family

Happy Feast day and Happy 5th Day of Christmas!

We are back home from a wonderful week away, spent at my parents' house and surrounded with all but one of my five siblings and their families. What a whirlwind! What a celebration! So fun! I am so glad to be from a large family, it feels full and rich and blessed when we all get together. And, it reaffirms our faith that God's intention for couples to be open to life IS a very good intention, even among the messiness and ups and downs of family life. Relationships and communion with others is what life is all about, after all, and that boils down to one word. Love.

And though we are back home we are still full swing in the true Christmastide season. Some people want to put away Christmas the day after and they are missing out on the meaning entirely. No time to truly reflect in the mystery and gift of baby Jesus after all the stresses and hubbub leading up to Christmas Day. I suppose with Christmas being shoved down our throats in the stores since October, its easy to get caught up in that and then be tired of it when the true Christmas season actually begins. Now is the time to celebrate the baby Jesus. Its our babymoon time!!

On our drive back home yesterday, we were talking about the upcoming New Year and resolutions and things like that. We thought it might be fun to have a theme or word to define an area of focus for 2014 for each of us, and that's when it hit me: Our family should have a word or theme.  The kids are welcome to each choose a word (reach, stretch, courage, kindness are all possibilities), but what came to my mind was The Holy Family. That should be our theme. Striving to be a Holy Family modelled after the Holy Family.

So it was appropriate that the Feast of the Holy Family happened today, and the readings from today's Mass clearly define what we are to aim for.  Goodness knows we fall so short! But I'm looking forward to it, and I'm so excited for the possibilities! What, exactly, that will look like on a day to day basis I'm not sure, but I do know that God will surely lead the way if we are open to His call.

xo



  

Happy Mail - Part 1

[faith]


Recently received, all wrapped up in pretty blue tissue paper. 

Handcrafted by Tina Marie, rosary-artist extraordinaire.  I originally saw the white First Communion rosary in her Loreto Gift Shop on Etsy, and although Alexa doesn't receive First Communion till next year, I knew it would be perfect. So I scooped it up.

Tina does beautiful work. And the best thing? She's local, and I love supporting local artists.

Tina offered to make the Our Father beads in my choice of color, perhaps Alexa's birthstone, but to me the blue is just beautiful against the white. And a lovely symbol of Our Blessed Mother.

I love the chalice as the center. What a perfect detail. So I've wrapped up and tucked this rosary away till next year. In the meantime, I continued to browse Tina's shop where ... one thing led to another and ... this one is for me. 

One thing our family does, without fail every Sunday night, is pray a rosary together, each taking a turn with a decade. We have done this since Group A was little and Group B was barely in the works. We didn't mind if they played quietly with Lego or coloured (using Rosary Reflections for Kids), we just wanted to create a pleasant tradition that cemented us as a family that prays. Without sucking the life out of it. Ya know?

Some people think that prayer has to be so solemn and sour-faced and serious and strict and ... un-fun. Smiles not permitted. But really, how can you pass on a faith to your children if you don't show them you actually love it and enjoy it? Why would they even want to receive it? God wants for us to live and be vibrant and laugh a little!!  It IS possible, desirable even, to enjoy prayer and be reverent at the same time. So with that in mind we try hard to make our family prayer time something the kids want to be a part of. Prayer preceeds a good little snack and family chat. My daughter (my big one!) always snuggles up to me during rosary so I will play with her hair or rub her neck and that's ok with me. Anything we want our kids to enjoy we try to associate with pleasure of some sort. Good thing, that. 

Of course things did backfire on us once. During one rosary, Tom just started to laugh hysterically for no good reason. He couldn't stop. It became contagious. But then, the next Sunday we remembered the previous Sunday and someone started to laugh. Let's just say it took MANY Sundays to get back to praying our rosary without laughing and that was not good. Not good at all folks.

The Rosary is a beautiful prayer for families, because each bead represents some aspect about the life of Christ through the eyes of His Mother. So its perfect for helping children learn the little "stories" or "mysteries" that we meditate upon with each decade. The beads themselves, they help everyone focus. I like to have aids in prayer - be it a Bible, prayerbook, rosary, or a Holy picture. Heck, anything to help with all the distractions that is my life. True?

So yeah. Loreto Gift Shop. Go there.

History of the Rosary here.
Free virtual rosary right here.

See you Thursday with some sewing :).

Birthday Love Note

[faith].

So, how do you like your life?

This was the very first question Father Joseph asked my husband when he showed up for RCIA after deciding to maybe pursue becoming Catholic. 

And I think his reply was somewhere along the lines of:
I think there is more.

Holy Week & Easter Recap - 2013

Da Vinci's Last Supper Craft, courtesy of Catholic Icing.  A perfect craft for Holy Week. We are dabbling in Da Vinci right now, as we are headed to the Da Vinci exhibit at the Arizona Science Center later this week. Perfect timing!

After we enjoyed a Holy Thursday meal, our family read the Gospel account of the Last Supper, and then did our own ceremonious footwashing.  

 Beginning with the oldest (Tom) washing the feet of the next oldest (me), we dribbled a little water on our feet and dried them.

The littlest ones especially loved this. I think its a new tradition for our family. 

 Good Friday morning. Making pretzels and the whole family joins in.

The were soooooo yummy. Was hard to quit with one. But, as we were fasting, this was our lunch. It was also nice to keep ourselves busy on such a solemn day. We followed this by doing family Stations of the Cross, then went to the 3pm Good Friday service. It was 3 hours long. The entire Gospel of the Lord's Passion was sung in chant by the professional choir. Lovely, but very very long. 

Beautiful Easter! Dawson and I attended the vigil on Saturday night. I left the house with instructions for Tom and the girls to put Resurrection cookies (Easter Story cookies) in the oven for overnight. They were going to form lovely, hollow meringue cookies, according to the DIRECTIONS WITH PICTURES FOR EACH STEP on Lacy's blog.

Instead, I came home to this:

No matter. We'll try again next year. 

 Lots of family in AZ this year. Some of us hanging out in the shade on a hot Easter Sunday, just enjoying a good visit.

And the days following Easter? Just lots of relaxing in the sun.

Day and night.

Catch up with you all later!

xo

Tuesday Fasting - Join Me?

Holy Week.

Traditionally for Catholics, the first few days of Holy Week are spent giving your home a top to bottom cleaning. The best cleaning of the entire year. Also, much of the latter part of the week is spent baking for Easter. This year, we are away, so I am doing neither. Except, of course, for fasting. You can fast wherever you happen to be.

While I'm sure many of you are increasing your fasting and penance and other spiritual practices this week, I'd still like to invite you to join me in a Tuesday lenten fast. Fast from a meal, fast from snacks or fast from all your food today, the choice is yours. And don't forget to double your dose of Christ then, to replace the food. Pray, meditate, take a little more time to nourish yourself with the Word of God. In a house full of kids, that generally translates into stolen moments and prayers muttered under your breath while your feel you are going to blow your top. Its okay, my confessor once told me such prayers are more effective amongst these distractions.

What does the rest of your Holy Week look like? Ours will be simple enough. I don't have a lot of craft supplies with me, we don't have specific commitments to any activities, and my husband is on vacation this week and next - he's never home during Holy Week so that is something new too.

Holy Thursday - Lent ends this afternoon and the Church celebrates a great feast that is Holy Thursday - where Christ gave us both the Eucharist and Holy Orders. We have decided, for this feast, to make a nice supper of roast beef, salad, potatoes and gravy, and a simple dessert, like ice cream. We will do our own reading of the Last Supper and a foot-washing ceremony of some sort. I'm ok with that since I recently had a pedicure ha! I think we will be super-primed to enter into the Triduum Liturgy which will begin at 7pm.

The other activity for Holy Thursday I'd like to try and pull together is the Last Supper Craft from Catholic Icing. Just need a few basic supplies I think I can orchestrate, with the help of my sister's printer. That would be great, too, because we're planning on attending the Da Vinci exhibit at the Science Center here in Phoenix - so it would be another opportunity to familiarize ourselves with him.

Good Friday - things are a little different here in that most parishes have outdoor Stations of the Cross at 3pm and the Veneration of the Cross at 7pm. The only close parish with a 3pm Veneration does pretty much the entire service in chant. Which is fine, except the chant is highly elaborate chant, and exceptionally long. Either way, my plan is not to take the little girls - Tom and I will either switch hit different services or we will have extended family watch the little girls. Three hours is just sooooo long for sitting still ...   But we will make the traditional pretzels for lunch on this day of abstinence and fasting.

Holy Saturday - we wait. The church is in waiting. I think we will spend this day colouring and decorating Easter eggs if we haven't done it by then already. Did that last year and it was a good activity to keep the littles and even the bigs busy. We will also do the Easter Story Cookies. Yum Yum.  We won't be attending the vigil service here as it isn't practical for the littles but we'll attend the Easter Sunday outdoor Mass bright and early Sunday morning.

That's our plan. What's yours?

No Fasting, Just Feasting. We Love you St. Joseph.

If you've been stopping by here lately, you'll know that we've been fasting on Tuesdays during Lent. But not today, because today is a Solemnity. A solemnity (solet and annus = annual celebration) is the highest level of feast in the liturgical calendar. Today we celebrate the Solemnity of St. Joseph, Husband of Mary.

Which means, no fasting with friends today! 

I'm all over the chocolate, how about you?

I just love St. Joseph. His prayers were instrumental in my husband's conversion. Back in 2004 when I experienced a reversion to my faith, I really wanted to share that faith with my husband. While Tom wasn't Catholic at the time, he also wasn't really anything at all. He had been baptized in the United Church, but was not raised to know Jesus. Nor was he remotely interested. However, he had no problem with supporting me in raising our children Catholic - he had promised that in our wedding vows and he was a man of his word. If I ever went to Mass with the kids, he came along.  Which was something.

I began to pray for St. Joseph's intercession in bringing Tom to faith. Just like I asked my friends to pray for him, I also asked St.Joseph in Heaven to pray for him. Faithfully. 

Not long after starting my secret prayer vigil to this dear Saint, I was kneeling in church by myself one day in May, 2004, just praying quietly about the whole thing. I then experienced a strong feeling, a "knowing," a supernatural confirmation if you will, from St.Joseph telling me that yes, Tom was going to become Catholic. I can't explain it better than that. It just popped into my heart that my prayer was answered. And I thought, alright, giddy-up, let's get the conversion show on the road! Little did I know that God's timing was, as usual, slightly delayed. I honestly thought Tom would miraculously convert by summer! Ha!

That summer, we moved to Calgary and the very weekend we moved we attended Mass at what is now our parish. It was a baptism Sunday, and we were both very moved by the Mass. For me, I was yearning secretly for another baby so I was all teary at the baptism. For Tom, he told me afterwards that it was the very first time he ever "felt something" from going to church. There was "something" in the homily that touched his heart. 

A few months later, this particular parish was calling for RCIA sponsors and I told Tom I thought I'd like to do that. It was a weekly commitment for almost 2 years. His response? "You can't, because I think I might like to take it!" And one of us would have to stay home with the kids. Well boy did my heart jump because its not like we ever talked about his faith journey, I never wanted to put pressure on him so it wasn't a popular topic. But there it was - he was interested in RCIA. Wow, God. 

Of course, he let it slide. He never signed up. So come November, when they were still asking for volunteer sponsors, I went ahead signed up. I'd come home with all sorts of conversation tidbits and we'd talk and talk. By January, he had signed up in a new group of RCIA victims. And we needed childcare every Wednesday night, but oh it was so much fun and it was so worth it. The journey was really underway! A journey that would see Tom become Catholic another year later, in 2006, just before the birth of our 3rd child. How crazy awesome is that?

So yeah, I have a soft spot in my heart for St. Joseph. Thank you St. Joseph, for praying for us. 

*********

We leave on Wednesday for AZ. I've got my packing lists ready, my grocery list ready for when we get there, and my homeschooling goals for while we are away. The bigs will continue their online classes, while I'm just going to read read read and discuss discuss discuss with the littles AND the bigs, mostly using selections from the handy dandy kindle.  And, depending how the van fills up as we pack, I may try to sneak my sewing machine in.  

Either way, I promise to keep you posted here and there, and you can also follow our adventures via Instagram. I'm livefaithgirl if you're looking.

Have a lovely Solemnity!

Fasting with Friends and a Thought about Sacrifice

How is your Lenten fast going?

Never mind the fast, do you have your eyes glued to your Conclave or Pope Election apps or something similar?

No, wait, back to fasting. Actually, its a PERFECT day to fast. The Conclave is already underway, and our Cardinals will need all the prayer and fasting possible as they choose our new Papa. Via the Holy Spirit.  I'm so excited!

Fasting, its a sacrifice, isn't it? 

Here's a thought about sacrifice by Fulton Sheen from his Lenten Meditations (only $1.95 on your handy dandy Kindle):

An Acceptable Sacrifice

There is a world of difference between

a gift and a sacrifice. A sacrifice is a gift 

plus the love and personality of the giver.

A gift comes out of the pocketbook; a 

sacrifice out of the heart.

"The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; 

a broken and contrite heart, O God, 

you will not despise."    Psalm 51:17

A sacrifice is a gift PLUS the love and personality of the giver. That will be something to meditate on throughout the day. Fast, yes, but send your prayer intentions on Up together with your love and personality! 

Please fast with me today. Even if I never know who you are (don't let your right hand know what your left hand is doing) there is something comforting about knowing you aren't alone in your struggle, right? So, struggle a little today and fast.  Fast from one meal, fast from all food, or follow the Church's guidelines (one main meal; and two small snacks which together wouldn't exceed one meal) for fasting. As long as you are offering your fasting, whatever that looks like, with love, God will honour that. 

Tuesday Fasting with Friends - Isaiah 58

This post, right up to the *****,  is a paraphrase of Kevin Perrotta's reflection on Isaiah 58, taken from his wonderful book/bible study, Prayer, Fasting and Almsgiving. 

"Why do we fast, but you do not see? Why humble ourselves, but you do not notice?" (The people are asking God why He isn't answering their prayers.  He replies, through the prophet Isaiah, basically calling them hypocrites):

Look, you serve your own interest on your fast day, and oppress all your workers.

Look, you fast only to quarrel and to fight and to strike with a wicked fist.

Such fasting as you do today will not make your voice heard on high.

In other words, you can't fast from food without fasting from treating others sinfully, if you want God to hear your prayer. 

But God suggests a better way in verses 6-8:

Is not this the fast that I choose:
to loose the bonds of injustice,
to undo the thongs of the yoke,
to let the oppressed go free,
and to break every yoke?
Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, and bring the homeless poor into your house; 
when you see the naked, to cover them,
and not to hide yourself from your own kin?

And a promise of answered prayers to those who fast in this manner:

Then your light shall break forth like the dawn, 
and your healing shall spring up quickly;
your vindicator shall go before you,
the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;
you shall cry for help, and he will say,
Here I am.

So why bother fasting then? Can't we just work on being better people, practice the works of mercy, work on relationships? Sure, you can. And you should. 

But fasting changes us. By fasting, we willfully resist our desires as a way to express commitment to do what God wants instead.  By fasting, we willfully turn away from what would give us pleasure and satisfaction in order to focus on the needs of others. Make sense?
Want to give it a try?

*******

So, what are your prayer intentions today?  Give them wings of fasting and almsgiving (St. Augustine)!  Join me, friends, fasting in solidarity for all our petitions and with thanksgiving! Let's lift each other up in spiritual unity. And while you're at it, why not put together of a bag of clothes you haven't worn for a long long time and drop them off at your nearest donation center. Make a special effort, while you fast, to be merciful and kind to those around you today. Don't fast to serve your own interest (you know, like doing it to shed a few extra pounds), instead put everyone else ahead instead.

Let's go!

Tuesday Fasting with Friends

There is something about a season of preparation.

I was chatting with a friend, of a different faith background than me. She remarked about how we Catholics (and some other faiths) celebrate Advent and Lent as preparatory seasons for a big feast. She seemed to appreciate the sense of it all, though her faith community does not partake.

And frankly, so do I. Because it makes sense! It would be so weird if life just went along and then one day it was Easter. Or Christmas. And you celebrated it and then it was done and that was that for another year.  I mean, sure, maybe you prepared and marked your calendar to see what day Easter falls on this year and you bought a ham or a turkey and Easter candy, and maybe you organized a neighbourhood egg hunt because that would be fun for the kids and you would be really popular, but ... did this grow your faith? Why is Easter a celebration for you then?

No.

That's NOT how its supposed to be.

I challenge you to do more.  To relish the preparation. To take the lenten journey, which is really a small likeness of our earthly journey to Heaven. Share and pass down the faith to your little ones and if you don't feel your faith is strong enough for that then now is a good time have a chat with God and give it up to Him. Pray. Meditate on the sacrifice of Christ. Fast. Count down the days till you feast again. Prepare your heart. Preparation is a good thing, right?

The first Christians fasted (Acts 13:2; 14:23). Here we are, 2000 years later, and today I warmly invite  you to join me and several of my friends in a fast.  Make it a one-meal fast or an only-water-to-drink-fast - God will honor whatever you choose, if its done with the right motive and attitude - that is - love and humility.

Let's talk a minute about last week's fast. A friend and I emailed several times during the day as we fasted, and that was really helpful! The interesting thing? She said it was one of the easiest fasts she's ever done.  And I wonder.  I wonder why that was.  Was it because we knew we had moral support along the way? Aren't we supposed to help bear one another's burdens?  But on the other hand, I wondered if a harder fast is more sanctifying. You know? What do you think?

A couple of tips for fasting:

• decide what you're going to do (bread and water? one main meal and two small snacks?)
• keep yourself well-hydrated and drink lots of water throughout the day
• have an intention on your heart as you fast and when you feel those hunger pangs, reach out to God with your intention
• have your Bible close by at all times! I have read that Scripture comes more alive when you are fasting, so fill yourself up with God's word today! And every day!
• if you are eating something today, give thanks for it. 
• consider adopting a "catch-phrase" to ponder on when you are feeling hungry or like you are going to give in. Here are a few good ones:
•  "When I am weak, I am strong" (2 Cor 12:10)
• "My grace is sufficient, for power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Cor 12:9)
• "I can do all things in him who strengthens me" (Phil 4:13)
• expect a little spiritual warfare, but know that God is on your side
• enlist the prayer support of a friend or group. Text or email each other. Or post in the comm box. We are social beings after all, and meant to live with the support of a community. It really helps!

Shall we give it a go?

Fasting - Exercise in Self-Discipline - Join Me?

"Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied."  Matthew 5:6 (NAB)

I used to think that this passage from the Beatitudes meant that those people in the world who naturally craved (hungered and thirsted for) justice would one day, in Heaven, be satisfied because our God is a just God. And He will ensure justice comes to pass. 

But it can be looked at differently, especially in the context of fasting and doing penance. Our Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops reminds us of our call to penance, suggesting we are to go hungry and thirsty for the sake of justice. I get it now. 

I invite you, on this first Tuesday and every following Tuesday of Lent, to hunger and thirst a little, out of your love for Christ.  Its an opportunity to practise self-discipline, and isn't self-discipline what is required to develop and grow in virtue? St. Paul tells us that "every athlete exercises discipline in every way. They do it to win a perishable crown, but we an imperishable one." (1 Cor 9:25)

I received an email from a reader after my last post inviting you to fast, which I think reflects how many of us feel. She said she read the post and had an interior tantrum; she didn't want to fast because it would be too hard, and was indeed "pouting a bit." But then quickly made the decision to go for it. Yay! 

Let's lift each other up in the process. Maybe you'd like to share a specific prayer intention.  Maybe you'd like to keep completely anonymous. We are not supposed to flaunt our fasting and I hope you don't think I'm trying to do that here. I'm not. I'm trying to encourage.  It seems more "manageable" to do hard things when you are doing them with a friend or a faith community, yes? I don't know about you but I need that spiritual support coming through the airways!

How you fast is up to you of course. I'll be having my main meal after sundown, and two very small meals during the day. No snacks. Not a "hard-core-body-cleanse-type fast" but believe me, I'll feel the burn. I want to feel the burn. It will remind me to turn to God often. 

May our fasting make us stronger in the service of the Lord!


  

Fast with me Friends?

Recall Matthew 4: 2-4 (NAB). Jesus was baptised but immediately following was driven out to the desert and was tempted by the devil:

"He fasted for forty days and forty nights, and afterwards he was hungry. The tempter approached and said to him, "If you are the Son of God, command that these stones become loaves of bread." He said in reply, "It is written: One does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes forth from the mouth of God."

Jesus was quoting Deuteronomy, and of course the devil knows Scripture well so it was appropriate for Jesus to reply in this way.

"He therefore let you be afflicted with hunger, and then fed you with manna, a food unknown to you and your ancestors, so you might know that it is not by bread alone that people live (emphasis mine), but by all that comes forth from the mouth of the Lord." Deuteronomy 8:3

So, during Lent its quite appropriate for us to fast, not only from food but from other things we might be attached to.  When we "tame our senses" in this way, we naturally open up a little window for God to enter. We can feed ourselves with the Living Word of God, right? 

What is your personal experience with fasting, specifically from food for the day? Have you ever seen the fruits?  Several years ago when I was coming back to my faith, I joined with an online Catholic mothers community in fasting from food every first Friday of the month. We ate nothing all day, just drank water. We messaged each other to lift us up in prayer and get through the fast. We had prayer intentions and we were encouraged to fast out of love for our brothers and sisters in Christ. Each hunger pang reminded us why we were fasting. Each hunger pang reminded us to pray! Of the several intentions I had, each one was fulfilled in some way. Miraculous really. Even my then non-believing husband began to join me in fasting on Fridays because he saw what amazing things were happening in my life - how God was working. He became Catholic 2 years later :). 

In actuality, the Catholic Church's definition of fasting is not stringent - you are permitted one main meal and then two lighter meals which together do not exceed a main meal. And really, that fasting specifically from food only applies on two days of the year - Ash Wednesday and Good Friday - though we are encouraged to fast (in different ways) and give alms (time, talent & treasure) during all of Lent. Heck, during the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, Muslims fast for a month from dawn to sunset and that includes no food, liquid, smoking, sex and swearing. Now that's a fast!  Really, what we are asked to do in fasting during lent is not a stretch, but it IS good for us.

During Lent, I always have good intentions to do lots for Our Lord. To detach myself from those things like Tim Horton's French Vanilla Cappuccino. To rekindle (take up rather than give up) our good habits of Scripture study and put more focus on building family relationships. To do without things we usually think nothing of purchasing - like snack foods, new fabric or clothes, a toy here and there for the kids - and we do without these things as a small way to identify with the poor. To help us count our blessings a little more purposefully. 

And usually I end up failing in most of these areas somehow. Cause I'm weak.

But I soooo look forward to the Easter Feast - and the thought of knowing I have "fought the good fight" as per St. Paul. Nothing worse than reaching Easter and knowing I copped out much of the time.

So here is what I propose.

I'm wondering if any of you are interested in joining me by fasting from food one day a week during lent, on Tuesdays (random choice of day). Its built-in support and solidarity in a very tangible way. I'll post something each Tuesday and we can support each other via the comm-box during the day, if you like.  St.Augustine apparently said that if you want your prayer to reach God, give it wings of fasting and almsgiving (humility and charity) - so that's something we can do. No? 

Let's do this! I know we can, and I know God will honor our efforts!  What do you think?

The pharmacist in me

My heart is so heavy these days as I ponder how millions of women have been and are currently being duped and lied to.

If ever I go back to practicing pharmacy in any way, shape or form, I could never ethically/morally dispense oral contraceptives (OCs).  And ... its not just the Catholic girl in me speaking here.  Medically speaking, I can tell you that we, as women, have been blatantly misled.  We have been told that OCs are so safe.  They are not.  Theologically speaking also, they are not safe, for your soul. But that's for another post.

In pharmacy school, I sat through "contraceptive workshops," where we played with foam, sponges, condoms and other creative barriers; discussed and debated the different types of hormones packaged up in pretty pink plastic cases, feminine and discreet. And whenever the "rhythm" method of birth "control" was mentioned, how we all laughed, even the professors.  'Cause that was for the poor uneducated folks who had not yet been enlightened in scientific methodology of present day.

Imagine my surprise when, ten years later, I did a google search on Natural Family Planning, and the Billings Ovulation Method of avoiding pregnancy and found hundreds of hits. Lots of medline studies to support its efficacy.  In every single other area of pharmacy we are taught to first consider non-drug measures to promote health and treat disease. Always. But not here, in the area of reproduction.  In the area of female reproduction we laugh in the face of those non-drug methods. And that was the first time I felt I had been ... misled by my pharmacy professors.  Weren't they setting the course material?

In pharmacy school, the actual mechanism of action of OCs was glossed over.  We were taught the primary method of action was to prevent ovulation.  No ovulation, no baby.  And if, by some *small* chance that failed, well, then its abortifacient effects would take over.  Because the pill will not let your tiny little baby implant safely into the uterine lining, but will ensure your tiny little baby will get washed away at the end of the monthly cycle without you ever having known it.  And because this particular mechanism of action is listed as secondary, the pill itself is not formally labelled as an abortifacient.  Nice, hey? I would think that, when the pill was first marketed in the 1960s, had it been properly labelled as a little abortion pill in a bottle, there would have been a public outcry and outrage against its use, since we were somewhat more of a moral nation then.  Oh, and did I mention, wasn't it nice that science "agreed" that pregnancy begins at implantation, not at fertilization?  They were clever enough to leave the question of when life begins, to theologians. But pregnancy, well that was an easy definition.  Oh, the pretty pink plastic packaging, feminine and discreet.

All that aside, the pill is a known cancer-causing agent, and women, you have every right to be concerned about it increasing your risk of breast cancer. Well, the big players would have you believe otherwise and will minimize this dirty little effect, as they have done for many years now. They will go so far as to tell you even the opposite, that it actually prevents certain types of cancer, and will cite several medical trials supporting such findings. They will 'soft-eye' it so to speak.  Makes us all feel a little better. But as we enter into the 5th decade of OC use, its going to be harder and harder to perpetuate the lie, because those early users of the pill are now entering those later years in life when breast cancer tends to appear.  There is good scientific data out there, and I'd encourage you to pass the word on to your sisters and brothers in Christ, alike. Our men have every right to this truth as well, you know.

If you do a medline search using key words 'oral contraceptives and breast cancer,' you will get no less than 2,925 citations of research in the area.  Here is a little taste.  I chose this study because its from the Mayo Clinic (credible), its a meta-analysis (credible way of combining lots of smaller studies to get a truer picture of the data), and it specifically focused on a previously (strategically) neglected segment of the population - the women who are only now premenopausal and *shouldn't* have an increased risk of breast cancer.  These are the women who may have been using the pill since their teens. Since it takes at least 20 years for a cancer to grow and manifest itself, we would expect to now be seeing an increase in breast cancer in women in their 40s and 50s. And ... we are.  Despite the exorbitant amounts of money we raise for breast cancer research, our rates of breast cancer have not decreased.

The Mayo Clinic meta-analysis clearly showed, in premenopausal women, a 'general' increase in the risk of breast cancer in pill users by 19%.  And looking at specific interest groups of these premenopausal women is important:

• pill user but never had a baby in their life - 24% increased risk of breast cancer
• pill user but has had at at least one baby - 29% increased risk of breast cancer
• pill user specifically prior to having first baby - 44% increased risk of breast cancer
• pill user for >4yrs specifically prior to having first baby - 52% increased risk of breast cancer compared to the normal 'baseline' risk

Scary, isn't it.  To help make some sense of the data, consider that the typically quoted national average is about 12%, or 1 in 8 chance, over a lifetime.  Premenopausal women have a much lower incidence of breast cancer than 1 in 8 though, so while the 52% increased risk in long-term OC users seems awful (and its not good), it also doesn't mean your chances of getting cancer have just jumped to 1 in 4 rather than 1 in 8.  The stats are more complex than that.  But it does mean a significant increase in risk for users of the pill.  And that's the main idea here.

The reason why women who have used the pill prior to ever having had a baby have an increased risk, is that their breast tissue is still developing, and pregnancy somehow matures that tissue development.  You mess with it by adding hormones, especially at an early age in life, you alter the breast cells themselves.

Unfortunately, though, for every study that cites an association between the pill and cancer, you will find another one that reassures us that all is, indeed, well.  That OCs are safe. Well-tolerated.  Not carcinogenic. Yup. But really, do you think that all the stakeholders (medical journals, medical associations who haven't been upfront from the get-go, pharmaceutical companies, I could mention others) are going to tell women to get off the pill? The stakes are too high, financially, legally, you name it.  Women have long accepted the increased risk of stroke and other cardiovascular disease that comes with the pill.  Would they just accept this risk, too?  

Chances are, at least one of you out there in blog-reader-land, has used the pill.  Maybe you are even a current user now.  I don't mean to scare you, really.  Sadly and with MUCH regret for MANY reasons, I too, fall into the category of a previous user.   But I want you to know that there is enough research out there suggesting a link - enough research for you to be concerned - despite how your physician may gloss this over or reassure you otherwise.  Most physicians probably don't even know the details of the link with breast cancer.  They are out on the front lines prescribing a product that has been used for over 40 years, without question.  Or the drug reps come in and shout about the latest study that showed no link to cancer. So most of them probably don't even give it a second thought.  But women, you need to take better control of your health and wellness in this area, and don't trust it to chance.  Even if you are using the pill for what you may regard as a valid medical indication, I would encourage you to probe deeper into alternatives.  You may have a valid reason, but then again you may not.  And if you are using the pill for birth 'control,' I would encourage you to get off the pill or injectible or implantable hormone!  And I would encourage you, no, beg you to more closely examine the ethical and theological issues surrounding this.  God really truly has a more beautiful plan for your marriage and family life!  A great place to start would be here,  here and here.

So, I don't know what the future holds when it comes to this complex issue.  I know that we are all hungry for truth.  And truth, my friend, does not come in a pretty pink plastic packages, feminine and discreet ... THAT is only a cover.



Edited to add: The book Fatherless by Brian Gail, which I'm currently reading, was part of the inspiration for this post.  He presents much of this issue in the context of a fictional story; I encourage you to read it.  However, the link between oral contraceptives and breast cancer  is one that most pharmacists and other health care professionals have been following for a very long time. Reading the book got me angry again, angry enough to want to write about it myself, in my own little way.  I'm not currently a practicing pharmacist, and I don't pretend to be a statistician. But it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see there is a link.  It is particularly for situations like this, that I want to raise children who will know how to think. Know how to question carefully when the powers of this world are telling you one thing but you suspect another.  Because the truth must be sought, its not going to fall on our laps wrapped in a pretty bow.  Thanks for reading.

"I command you:

 ... be strong and steadfast! Do not fear nor be dismayed, for the Lord, your God,

 is with you wherever you go."

Joshua 1:9 

Other translations use 'courageous' in place of 'steadfast.'  And this is all about courage.

Can I tell you a story? About my young adult daughter (remember, we aren't calling them teens anymore!)?  She displayed tremendous courage.  She took a risk.  She went out on a limb.  'Cause that's where the fruit is right? (Jimmy Carter)

She is not overly ... athletic.  She swims very well, she skates, but overall she is more the arts/drama/music kinda girl.  For whatever reason, at the age of 14 and on the last day for soccer registration, she decided she wanted to go. for. it.  I get that boys need to test their physical limits as they approach manhood; that they need the rough and tumble wrestling with their dads.  But you know what?  I wonder if girls need some of that too.  I wonder if there was something inside her that needed to know how she would do.  Something inside her that needed to know what it would be like to play on a team. At this age in her life. As a homeschooled girl.

She emailed back and forth with soccer clubs.  She was upfront with the fact that she had no experience.  She was asked to come to a practice so the coach could ... take a look ...

We bought cleats and shin pads and socks and balls ... dug out white T and black shorts.

And for almost two hours, I watched my beautiful 14-yr-old young adult daughter play and drill and kick and run with a group of Under 16 girls who have been doing this for several years.  

And she did not cry ...

She did not cry!!  

She did not cry when the coach said she wasn't going to work out for this team, but that he'd send her over to another coach.  Au contraire!  She walked off that field with a big smile, glowing cheeks and feeling on top of the world!  Isn't this the kind of mountain-top moment we want our kids to experience, even on a regular basis?  It takes courage to take a risk, but the result is more courage! Excitement! Confidence!  

This I want: to inspire my children to go for it, to dance, to reach and stretch themselves, to have a willingness to try.  For if they can do that even in the small things, like a silly soccer practice, what limits have they when it comes to fulfilling their mission and God's plan for their life?  

so proud of you baby!

xoxo 

mom

Of vocations and passions ...

I purchased a lot of fabric while in Arizona.  And the whole drive home I was so excited to get to work and make stuff.  I was pondering how the idea of getting home to sew was exciting to me and made my heart pitter patter.  Does anyone relate to this?  Got me thinking about my passion for it, and of course its no wonder.  God is a Creator, and we are made in His image and likeness!  Then I wondered if my passions were in the right order. Observe with tongue in cheek.

My main vocations in order of importance (following our prime reason for being; to know, love and serve our God):

marriage
motherhood
homeschooling
creative expression (eg sewing, knitting, crafting, home dec, etc)  And yes, though not a vocation in the traditional sense, I do feel a strong calling here 'to create'. Vocation - voco - latin for 'I call.'


And here are my passions, from what I am most passionate about to least.  But remember, they are all passions, so even the bottom of the list is good:

creative expression (eg sewing, knitting, crafting, home dec, etc)
homeschooling
motherhood
marriage

Notice the inverse relationship?

Its not that I do not take my marriage seriously.  I most certainly do, and its at the top of the vocation list for a reason.  How blessed I am to have a partner in life while many others sit lonely.   But I can't say I  surf the net for new and inspiring ways to bless my marriage.  Should I be?  I can't say that I see a million blogs written by married women all solely about ... marriage.  Are there any?  What would that kind of blog look like?  I should check ...

And its not that I do not enjoy motherhood.  I love it immensely and passionately!!  I do feel my creative abilities are put more to the test in this area for sure.

But .... I can pour hours and hours over homeschooling books. I can sit and make plans and come up with ideas to meet the learning needs of the kids.  I can get together with my homeschooling friends and we have endless conversations about things as miniscule as spelling programs.  I absolutely love homeschooling and maybe its because it involves, no, demands creativity and relies on inspiration.

And then ... my interest in and passion for creativity with textiles tops the chart and I know many women feel the same way ... I can spend forever in a fabric store, perusing patterns and cloth, dreaming and imagining what I could craft.  Or a yarn shop. Or I could spend an evening cutting and glueing and adorning a single scrapbook page till I get it just right.  Long into the night could I stay up sewing, all the while *thinking* how lovely its going to be when its done.  Design. Create.

I can get so inspired, and inspiration fulfilled is so deeply satisfying.  (Which reminds me how important it is to work hard to inspire your children.  See how that passion for homeschooling just took over?)

But. If I had to choose, creative expression would go.  If I had to choose again, cut the homeschooling.  Choose again?  Motherhood, because motherhood without marriage would not be a path I would willingly undertake.  Marriage remains!

This is what I have been pondering tonight, as I prewash many meters of girly fabric and cut and sew a dress for Kate.  As I prepare for my homeschooling facilitator visit in the morning. As I tuck my littles in with their stuffies and blankets and magic bags. As I listen to my husband's goings-on in the job front, glass of Baileys-on-ice in hand.

What are your primary vocations? Your passions?  Is there a relationship?

Hey!!!!
I just googled marriage blogs!  And there are A KAZILLION!  Who knew??? Who. Knew.  

Have a lovely weekend.

The Catholics Next Door ...

When we purchased our vehicle, we received a subscription to Sirius/XM satellite radio, and I discovered "The Catholic Channel."  We love it!  And one of my favorite shows on this channel is The Catholics Next Door with Greg and Jennifer Willits.  I think I like them because I see so many parallels between their life and ours (though Tom and I are not as holy as the Willits, but I digress!).  We like them because we can relate to them: they are our age, also have five kids, have had miscarriages, early in their marriage weren't faithful to the Church's teaching on family planning but now are fully devoted, have homeschooled, and are not afraid to let us in on the adventures of their family life.  They have a great sense of humor and most importantly, their passion for Christ and His Church permeates the airwaves :).

I recall listening to them on a road trip once, about a year ago.  An older lady called in and had some obvious bitterness towards the Church, including her own personal upbringing having to pray a family Rosary regularly.  She felt it was a dead prayer, and a dead church; we should pray freely from our hearts (the typical criticism). She was no longer going to a Catholic church but had been attending somewhere else.  As I listened, I wondered how Greg was going to handle this one - cause it was going to be tough!  This lady would not be an easy nut to crack.  Yet the fact she called in tells me she needed something ...

Well let me tell you, Greg was amazing.  He treated her with such love and respect, but yet was uncompromising, challenging her to go back to the Church, giving explanation to her criticisms, telling her that all those Rosaries she prayed as a child were likely even now benefiting her. She called in with bitterness, but hung up a little softened.  Such was the grace with which Greg handled this caller.  And I was won over to their show.

Greg and Jennifer have written a book!  It has just been released and I downloaded it to my handy dandy Kindle:   The Catholics Next Door: Adventures in Imperfect Living.

Its a pleasure to read! Throughout the book Greg and Jennifer take turns writing from their perspective and experience on various topics, from being a witness to your neighbour, family spirituality, keeping your marriage healthy, how children lead us to heaven, all the way to how Catholic life is Eucharistic.  They discuss how they overcame certain doubts on aspects of the faith.  They talk about their Rosary ministry, the sacraments, their journey to natural family planning and their experience in and out of homeschooling.  Finally, they call us to embrace technology and social media as a way of evangelization, and to that end they have founded a ministry to do just that - New Evangelization.  All in all, an inspiring read.

Love these guys. I wish they really did live next door :)!

Nice to be back, friends!  God bless your week.

Gospel ... and Art on the go

Gospel Lk 5:27-32

Jesus saw a tax collector named Levi sitting at the customs post.
He said to him, "Follow me."
And leaving everything behind, he got up and followed him.
Then Levi gave a great banquet for him in his house,
and a large crowd of tax collectors
and others were at table with them.
The Pharisees and their scribes complained to his disciples, saying,
"Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?"
Jesus said to them in reply,
"Those who are healthy do not need a physician, but the sick do.
I have not come to call the righteous to repentance but sinners."

Can you imagine getting up and following some guy just because he says to? I can't. But wow, it must have been completely charismatic to be in the presence of Christ as a man, because Levi did get up and left everything behind.  Everything! Levi (also known as Matthew, the tax collector) threw a big party for Him, and brought all his other tax collector friends, the despised ones. Can you imagine the freedom they all must have felt, because surely those of them who had fallen into corruption would have been moved to repentence and then forgiven by Christ, no?

When I recently attended the Visitation of the Relics of St. Giana, the presenter told that 5000 people came to the church or were outside the church on her wedding day.  He said that she drew such a crowd because people loved to be near her.  It was because she simply exuded Christ, and whether we know it or not, we long for Him.  Sigh.

So its been a really long week with play performances and running here and there and school, I was really in need of some sanity therapy.  Saw these very sweet art-folios from Gingercake Patterns and Design and  it quickly became a project.  The girls were very excited, and Dawson also had to have his own.  I modified his to be a large folio, but the girls' I made directly off the pattern.  Lots of fun stuff at this site.  The folios became quick inspiration to draw and everyone was very busy! We also found out today that they perfectly hold a couple of Bob books.  Bonus!

The kids all picked fabrics from my stash of fat quarters.  If you ever make this, please note that the pattern only gives you the total amount of required fabric for front and back.  You have to guesstimate how much if you want to make the pockets all different colors.

The small folios are meant for crayons, but we found they also fit Pipsqueak markers and mini-gel pens.  Crayons would fit a bit better though :)

For this larger folio, I used Pellon (medium-weight stabilizer) to stiffen it.  The little ones were done with fusible fleece ... but the actual pattern calls for batting.  

These are going to be GREAT for travelling!

Enjoy your day!!